Chapter Nine: Beginnings and leave-takings
New home, the family grows; lost memories
The children grew – with them also the challenges. At a certain moment the three older children were in the army, and in weekends when they were all home, the washing machine was working all the time. When Sonia and Nathan decided to come to Israel, they knew that the children would have to serve in the army, but they didn’t know about the days of anxiety and the sleepless nights that were the consequences of the wars. In the Yom Kippur War, it was worry and fear for Dani, who was a long time in the region beyond the Suez Canal, and we had no news from him. In the First Lebanon War, we dreaded for Rafi, who waged war beyond the border in the Golani Brigade, in a special rocket/missile unit.
The girls also served in the army during the wars. Susy at first was in Intelligence unit and afterwards in the Graphic section. Silvia was near Ramallah in the Central Command, under General Gandi. They often stayed in the base, and didn’t come home.
Gradually, each one found her/his way, and the ‘clan’ grew new branches. Dani was injured when he had to carry a very heavy soldier on a stretcher when he was in a preparatory course for the ‘Sayeret’ of the Artillery. He was then moved to the Armament unit till the end of his military service. He then went for some months to learn the work in the Diamond Exchange in Antwerp and in London. After he returned to Israel, he began studying International Relations in the Hebrew University of Jerusalem. Simultaneously he worked with his Father, until it became too difficult for him to both study in Jerusalem and work at the Exchange in Ramat Gan – so he decided to focus on his successful work. Nathan was happy with the joint work with his son, who was the third generation in the family business.
On the 12th of June, 1977, his birthday, Dani married his girl-friend Nitza Taranto, born in Izmir, Turkey. Sonia and Nathan grew to be good friends with Nitza’s parents, and on Shabat would often meet them and their friends on the Zuk Beach. Early in life, in their 40’s, they became grandparents of Inbal and afterwards Yael, the children of Nitza and Dani. Once in a while, Sonia would take the grandchildren from the kindergarten for lunch at her home.
Dani continued to work with his Father until he became ill with Alzheimer. He then began another career that combines his love for history and geography with his knowledge of languages, because he speaks Portuguese, Spanish, French and English and started to study as tours guide. He comes once a week to his Mother’s home, and they drink coffee together and chat; sometimes he also borrows one of her books in the archeology of Eretz Israel. Inbal studied Economics in the Ben Gurion University, where she met Shai, her future husband. She worked with her Father – the fourth generation of the business, and in the meantime concluded her MA in Business Administration. When work lessened, Dani and Inbal understood that it would be better if she searched her future in another business. Nowadays, she is responsible for the sales of household electric equipment in a big company. Inbal and Shai Reich are the parents of Yuval and Itai. Yael shares her grandmother’s love of art history and completed her MA with excellence in contemporary art history in the Tel Aviv University. She works as decorator for stage sets and props of TV programs.
Eyal is married to Hila Danone and they enriched Sonia and Nathan with two great-grandchildren: Roi and Alon. Eyal has a BA in Economics and works in Real Estate. Yoav married Avishag Dror and they spent a few years in Milan, where Avishag studied medicine; she has completed and now she is a doctor. Yoav who loved horses from childhood – works in a horse farm and takes part in international competitions, in some of which Avishag also participates. Gilead, the youngest, became very religious, married Oranit, who works as a kindergarden teacher of especial education problems (some are autistic). Gilead studied the Rav Asherov’s course of alternative medicine and now heads a clinic at his home.
Silvia completed her military service at the Central Command and then went to work with her Father. Early every morning before work, she would go to the horse farm at Rishpon to care for her beloved horse Camaro, and to ride on him. Once, on the eve of New Year (Rosh Hashanah), Silvia fell from her horse and he trampled her foot and crushed her ankle. She underwent surgery and the doctor put a metal screw and she had to be with the leg in plaster for 6 weeks; despite this she went to work every day. When she could she returned to horseback riding. When she again fell from her horse – he threw her over his head, when he was frightened by a barking dog – Silvia decided that she would not ride more.
“This was the breaking point. Silvia was very dedicated to Camaro, but she sold him. All through the years, we searched for a cure of her illness in Israel and other countries. She stayed for some time at a clinic near Zurich, where they treated with several methods, and also underwent treatments in Paris, but no one succeeded to cure her. The doctor in charge of the Department of the Eating Problems, Dr. Mitrani, thought that Silvia had another 5 years to live.”
“Silvia is a medical miracle. I admire her fantastic will power, which saves anew her life each time. She stubbornly takes a walk for a half hour, and then twice a day she does exercises of gym, and she strictly follows a healthy balanced diet, reads a lot, and manages all the housekeeping. Her brothers, Dani and Rafi, her sister Susy, as well as her sister-in-law Nitza, and Galit, always tried to help her.
“Nathan didn’t like to tell others about his problems, and even with each other we didn’t talk enough about our difficulties. We both understood after some time, that we couldn’t do anything more to help Silvia with her illness.”
After completing his military service in the Orev squad in the Golani brigade, Rafi went on to a BA in Economics in Tel Aviv University and MA in Business Administration. He married Galit Ilan in March 1988, some months after they met. Together they underwent 9 years of expectations, with fertilization treatments, unsuccessful pregnancies, until finally, in 1997, they became the happy parents of Gaya, their eldest daughter. Two years later, the twins, Avigail and Ben, were born. After his studies, Rafi worked in a bank, in a financial consulting company, and then worked in the family business during 20 years. He is partner in a high technology company, where he works nowadays. Galit is an interior designer, and she designed and was responsible for the renewal of the house Sonia and Nathan bought in the same street where Galit and Rafi live, in Tel Baruch in North Tel Aviv.
Gaya completed her military service at Galei Zahal, the Army Radio; she now studies Visual communication at Shenkar School, and she likes it very much. Avigail is studying Fashion Design at Shenkar School; Ben has completed National Service in Jerusalem in the Botanical gardens; he worked a year as a voluntary helping in Sderot. He studies dancing in a school in Tel-Aviv.
New twigs and branches developed in the family, and the forefathers finished their role.
Salomon Mucznik, Nathan’s Father suffered from heart problems, and passed away, before he was 80, in the beginning of 1980. Helena married again to Yaakov, but when they separated, she went to live in Retirement Home in Ramat Hasharon, near North Tel Aviv. In her last years Helena suffered from dementia. “We would visit her every Saturday morning with Gila and Isaac, until one day she did not recognize me and said: ’thank you for agreeing to marry my son’. This caused me such sorrow that I didn’t visit her anymore, because I couldn’t watch how the mother-in-law whom I loved, so different from other mother-in-laws in stories, was deteriorating. She had been a warm, loving woman, always sophisticated and scrupulous in her appearance. When she passed away, it was a blow for her sons, Nathan and Isaac.”
Liba and Esther came to Israel when they were 13 and 11 years old, together with a group of Jewish youngsters from Marseille. After this visit, Liba dreamt of ‘Aliya’ to Israel, and when she was 18 years old, in 1963, she came to Israel with her sister Esther, who was 16. During the first months they lived in Tel Aviv and studied Hebrew in the Ulpan. Afterwards they worked in the ‘kibbutzim’. The young girls felt lonely here and did not mix with the Israeli society, which they considered as very closed. At this time Gila and Isaac were in Nigeria as representatives of the AMISRAGAS company. Two years after Liba and Esther came, they left for Paris to study at the Sorbonne, and from there returned to Lisbon. Nowadays, Esther manages the establishment of the Jewish Museum of Portugal, which will open in the next years. Now she is busy collecting objects and documents of Jewish families. Liba works as translator of books from Hebrew to Portuguese; such as the books of Amos Oz and David Grossman. They come to Israel about twice a year to visit their brothers, Nathan and Isaac, both of them ill.
Miriam, Sonia’s youngest sister, the youngest daughter of David and Esther Halpern and their children Muriel and Pedro also lived in Lisbon.
24.3.1988 – Galit and Rafi’s wedding
A great tragedy befell the family in 1986.
In the middle of the night, a phone call woke Sonia and Nathan. Isaac told them that their 24-year old son, Doron, whom all called “Doronchik”, had been killed in a motorcycle accident at the Shapirim intersection. Rafi, who studied at the Tel Aviv University, lived with a friend at an apartment near his parents, stayed then at their home because he was ill. From time to time, his temperature high, he woke up and thought that the phone call was a dream.
“Nathan and I drove immediately to Gila’s and Isaac’s home in Kiron,” Sonia tells,” they were devastated by their pain, and couldn’t understand how such a tragedy had befallen them. There was not much we could do, only be there with them; I cooked and brought them food every day during the “shivah”. We were always very close to Gila and Isaac, and we always tried to sustain them as far as we could. This was a very painful episode in the history of the family, and no words can describe this tragedy.
David Halpern was an independent man, curious and sharp as a blade until he closed his eyes, a short time before his 102nd birthday. He had divorced Esther Castel and was living in an apartment at a retirement home in Kfar Shemariahu, near Tel Aviv. He believed that if he had good luck and his business flourished, he also had to help others, and he donated to several organizations, among them, Keren Kayemeth L’Israel, Magen David Adom (Israeli Red Cross), ‘Ort’. David read the newspapers every day and took care to be always updated in what was happening in the world. When 100 years old, he began learning computers. In an interview published in the paper Maariv, he admitted: “everything related to computers, internet, digital post, and fax were created during the last 20 years, and therefore it is somewhat late for me to master it. However, I follow these things, because it is a field that fascinates me”. In the same interview, he tells of his busy schedule: “I work a little every day, read the letters I receive, and answer them, and continue to do what I have done all my life in donating to society. I also play bridge and chess three times every week, read many books, watch TV, walk out of doors, listen to lectures and concerts. When there are good films I don’t miss any. Family and friends come to visit, and I also have friends among the residents of the club, with whom I meet and hold conversations; certainly not many, because some 80-years old just sit and there is nothing you can talk with them. Lately, I am interested in books on spirituality; they are entertaining and some even help me with good advice in how to remember things I have forgotten, as phone numbers, or keys and other items you lost. They also help me to treat without medicine all kinds of pains, such as headache and other uncomfortable pains of the body. It seems that when you talk with your subconscious it helps.”
In his last day, Sonia and Nathan, as well as Ana were at his bedside. At a late hour at night, David told them its late, they should go home. After they left, David told the doctor: “that’s it, the time has come for me to go”, closed his eyes and passed away.
The quiet neighborhood of Nave Avivim, where Nathan and Sonia had their first home in Israel, had grown and developed into a busy and noisy place. The buses and cars bothered Sonia in her study room. They moved to a large house with a garden in Tel Baruch, in the same street where Rafi lived with his family. The proximity was very pleasant and comfortable for all. Avigail and Ben who were tiny babies sometimes slept on Shabbat at the home of the grandma and grandpa. Before they fell asleep, Sonia would read some of the books they loved, such as, The Lion who loved Strawberries, and the Golden Fish. Sometimes, one of the babies woke up and cried that she/he wanted to go home, Rafi would come and take her/him back to bed at home.
Nathan answered positively to the query of the Ambassador of Israel in Rome, who asked him to accept the task of Honorary Consul, until an official ambassador would come from Portugal to Israel. During this period, he dedicated more time to this mission, and rented an office, close to his office in the Diamond Exchange. Gila, his sister-in-law was his secretary. They had to give visas to people who wanted to visit Portugal. They also took care of the workers who worked in Israel. “I don’t know whether he liked the job, or saw it as a burden, but he was a man who liked to help”.
When the was Gulf War broke out in 1999 and missiles began falling on Israel, the Portuguese government asked Nathan to help the workers working in the Negev to return to Portugal. With the help of his children, Silvia and Rafi, they put them together and organized the bus trip to the Egyptian border, he had coordinated with the Egyptian ambassador. This process was very appreciated by Portugal. Nathan in the presence of the family, received a medal of the Legion of Honor of the Portuguese government in gratitude, in a touching ceremony. It took place at the Portuguese ambassador’s residence in 31.10.1991.
Along the years, Dani, Silvia and Rafi worked with their Father in the family business which continued during four generations, not always easy, but challenging and learning. “Daddy gave us a personal model of total honesty”, says Dani. “If you gave someone a bid, you cannot change your mind.” “He was very anxious especially in business, and sometimes almost to the point of paranoia. It was very important for him what people thought of him. He was very sensitive, sometimes even the tone of voice, which seemed to him as lack of patience, unsettled him. He himself was very patient with others. If someone was in need of help, or advice, he would close himself in his room with him, and hear attentively to what he had to say. The people in the diamond business esteemed and respected him very much. Father was very different from other diamond people in his attitude to other people; he always honored each and every person, and never looked down on anybody.”
The members of the family returned several times to Portugal. The landscapes, the smells and tastes, all bring sweet memories of their childhood. In Autumn of 2011, when Nathan’s memory was beginning already to fail him, we went to Portugal on a voyage of family roots, each one with his or her partner, and children. We were a cheerful group of 22 people, the mothers of Nitza and of Galit, joined. We stayed at a very special hotel on the coast, north of Lisbon, called “Areias do Seixo”. Liba, the eldest of Nathan’s sisters, visited us. We visited several places the children remembered from their childhood, and among these the house in Oeiras, where they had lived for many years. It had been changed to a Kindergarden, and they pointed out where the gates stood and where the device for acrobat had stood. We met Alexandrinho, Dani’s friend, and our neighbor, who just arrived home, and they talked about old times. The visit was very moving.
In their parents’ home money was not talked about, nor about feelings, but the happy, and respected married life was an example for the children, who also acquired values of integrity, simplicity, modesty and respect towards everyone, whoever it was. They learned to follow their hearts and their abilities, and also to keep together, united and supporting. In times of crisis, and through the years there were several ones, they knew that there was always someone on whom they could lean and who would come to their help.
Nathan continued to drive every day to the office in the Bourse in Ramat Gan, from which he would direct the connections with the offices in Lisbon, Oporto, and Madrid, until he became tired from these trips, and decided to work from home. Sonia began to notice that his senses were no longer as sharp as they had been until now. One day he phoned her from his car on the way home and said he didn’t know his way and another time, when driving with Sonia and his sister-in-law, he stopped the car before a green traffic light, because he feared a car could surprise him and come from the left. Sonia understood that something was not well, and had him undergo a test; the result was clear and painful: Alzheimer’s.
Nathan was very angry and unhappy when his driver’s license was cancelled. He lost his self-respect and security. Gradually the situation became worse, and he would tell me that he had to go and meet his wife, or his mother, who was waiting for him in the hotel. When I would tell him that his mother had passed away, he would say that it wasn’t true. Because his mother had been with him that morning. When he woke in the middle of the night, he would begin to wander around in the house. We always took care to lock the doors of the house and hide the keys. Dani and Rafi would sometimes come to sleep in our bedroom, so that I would be able to sleep a night through. One evening, he told me that his wife was waiting for him and he has to go to her. When I told him that I am his wife, he did not believe me, saying that I’m only the owner of the house. I called Rafi and he took Nathan for a walk to his house and back, and told him that this is his house and that I am his wife. Each time that he wanted to look for his wife, I would call Rafi to help me.
I saw that the house was no longer appropriate for Nathan, and he had to live in another safer place, but it was very difficult for me to do so. But then one day, he gets up from his arm chair and tells me he has to go to meet his mother. I told him I wouldn’t go with him. He went to the kitchen, where he hardly knew where things were, and grabbed a big kitchen knife from a drawer, and pointing to his breast and said he would kill himself. I was very frightened, but told him to give me the knife; he did so, and I asked Rafi to come quickly. I understood that life with Nathan at home had become impossible for me and also for Silvia. That he needed to stay at a safer place.
When Dani and Rafi took their Father, on September 2014, to the Home at Afeka Mish’an, to the closed section, the leave-taking and the adaptation were very difficult to Nathan and to us. “During a long time he rebelled, saying he wanted to go back home and blamed me for having brought him there. Sometimes he even behaved violently. One of the evenings, when we were saying goodbye, he said he would knock his head on the wall, because he didn’t want to live any longer. His personal care taker and me held him very fast. He was very strong always. At first, we brought him to the family events, until he no longer identified the persons, not even our children, though their kisses were agreeable, but didn’t enjoy the events, asking when he could go home. When I sit next to him, hold his hand and speak with him in Portuguese, which is the only language he still understands. When someone asks me how Nathan is, I tell him that he is as a beautiful shell completely empty.”
